Our 4'8" dear grandma Joan who, after two sips of Franzia, apologizes for her being "dumb" and insists that "it's all an act kids!"
A series of newly 21 year olds, sharing drunken stories of being of age, as they awkwardly take sips of their Coke. Various relatives continue to enter the room telling them that they are the reason they got vodka this year and to "drink up".
Enough velvet furniture to put a decent person over the edge.
Women in dress suits that blended with the curtains in the background, and their husbands decked in complimenting sweaters.
On the last grocery run, a forty-something woman who ran into the giant revolving door next to me, gave me a nice arm slap and exclaimed, "Dontchyah ever notice how whenever you look like just CRAP all the guys are lookin' atchya and then when you look GREAT they want NUTHIN' to do with ya?! ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH?? (another arm slap)".
And of course, my pride and joy, a new Starbucks travel mug, with a suction-seal lid so that it can't spill. She's red and beautiful, complete with carabeiner handle clip. It's about the features people.
Happy Politically Correct Holidays.
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