Not staying in bed because that's JUST what Mother Nature wants.

I woke up this morning to overcast, blinked twice, and there was an inch of snow on the ground and huge, 10 pound sloppy snowflakes were falling from the stupid gray sky. Now they're in a whirlwind and are lobbing themselves against my window like little kamikaze flakes of mockery.

"Haha!" Slop.
"It's April tomorrow!" Slop.
"How bad do you want to stay in bed right now?!" Slop.
"F you!" Slop.

It's a dendrite. What? A dendrite...It's um...

Bored? Try this. They are applets based off of neurological interactions that you get to play with. Fiddling with mesh is entertaining but not as pretty. The dendrite applet is a little less interactive, but you can order your creations in jewelry.
And who loves learning accessories more than me?

I found it on Nectar & Light who has some more lovely things to show you.

Metaphors

Me: You are taking me on an emotional roller coaster right now. And I am very afraid of heights.
She: Yeah, well I'm sitting right next to you, ass face. And I'm pretty sure we're in the front seat. And there's probably water involved. And maybe even a picture taking machine.
Me: ...
She: ...Sometimes called a camera.

All dogs, fish, rabbits and hamsters go to Heaven, I go to Hell.

You may remember Ham. After re-reading this post, I had forgotten about those five days that he went without food*. And I'm telling you that Ham has set a new record- seven days. After driving by a pet store on Thursday and Mother was all, "We should stop and get some bowl cleaner for your fish." and then my eyes bugged so far out of my head they landed on my lap. And after I pushed them back in, the tears welled up and all of the pets I've killed over the years were coming back to me (JumpJump, I just didn't know you were under the cage! Pepper, I'm sorry I forgot to unplug the Christmas tree! Etc..**).

Mother nobly drove me to St. Paul and went to my room to see if it was a save or flush situation. And she walked out of that building, coffee jar in hand with the tiniest beta fish you ever saw swimming around like nothing happened.
It was like a scene from Ladder 49, except less John Travolta.

*It was natural for me to say "food and water" here, but the guy had water. He lives in water. That's like me saying I couldn't go a week without food or air. He had water. I'm a bad pet owner, but not that bad.
**Does it worry you that there is an etcetera at the end of that sentence? Don't leave your children with me.

Actively not caring about waterspots

Our family has become a squeegee family.
You know, the kind of family that has brushed chrome spot lighting in the bathroom, smooth finish ceilings, water that comes from a separate place than the tap faucet, and a squeegee in the shower.
If you have ever met my family, you would know that we're SO not a squeegee family. We are the antithesis of a squeegee family. We visit squeegee families' lake homes and congregate in the kitchen after everyone has gone to bed and make fun of their squeegeeosity over box wine.

So while my family is busy wicking the shower door and forgetting that it's St. Patrick's day, I will go to the pub and do the jig with a (verygoodlooking) stranger who plays the bodhran.

Living in a Dr. Suess book

This morning I had to leap over a giant house plant to get into the laundry room because someone put my computer in there.

The coffee pot is in the living room brewing away and I had to ask where my family keeps plates now.

I ran into the house last night because in the stress of ordering at a Sushi restaurant, I forgot that I'd had to pee since before Brother and I even got there.
"Is this bathroom usable?!" (you have to ask these days)
"Electrician...hit a pipe...there was spewing...no water in the house...."
"BYE."

We're moving soon.

Spanish Class, Life Lessons

"I don't know who any of these people are!"
"Which ones?"
"Like...Tony Blair. How am I supposed to know what country he's from?"
"Erhm. He's English."
"This is so hard."

"Hey, do you know where Vancouver is?"
"Seriously? Oh. Sorry. Canada."
"She says it's in Canada."

I just want back in your head...

Oops!
Hello, blog! I promise I didn't forget you existed, but I've been quite busy lately with Sandwich Lady being home, standing up at The Future President of Africa's wedding on 66th, trying to decide what kind of writing is appropriate to include in the ambiguity of a creative writing portfolio, caving in and buying the Tegan and Sara album, and arguing the existence of God for school. And getting an A+ on a math quiz. That's right. They give A+s at this place. I love college.

Things are calming a bit now. Sometimes calm means boring. Hopefully there will be a gem in the next couple of days here....

Where he lacks in vowels he makes up for in wicked good looks and dimples

Dan: What's your blog name?
Me: Umm...what?
Dan: Your blog?
Me: Yes...what about it?
Dan: Where is it?
Me: Oh. Okay do you have a pen?
Dan: No. But I have a computer.
Me: Okay. It's banana loaf dot blog spot dot com.
Dan: It doesn't exist.
Me: Yes it does. b-a-n-a-n-a l-o-a-f. All one word.
Dan: OH! There it is.
Me: What'd you spell wrong?
Dan: Loaf.
Me: ?
Dan: L-o-f.