Hallmark and Roses

Dear Blog,
I'm sorry that I forgot it was our Blogiversary yesterday.
Thank you for sharing this second year of loyalty with me.
I love you.
-Muff

A Spot of Weekend Hope

If you have a chance this (cloudy? it's cloudy, right?) weekend, you should try and make it out to Loring Park to do this.
Put on by Doctors Without Borders, you will be shown a very tiny window to what it might be like to be a refugee. There are visuals of the conditions refugees are often forced into including houses, food, water, bathrooms, health care, etc. But you can sit in the tents, taste the biscuits they hand out and carry the five gallon water jugs.
By no means is this at the same caliber of experiencing a refugee's life, but if nothing else, you can learn about everything that Doctors Without Borders has done.
And this kid learns by interaction.

Red-Flagged

"Well I'm a little concerned about your sociability. You scored a 16%."
"Yes. Um, well I really consider it more independent than asocial."
"I see."
"..."
"Well, you're living on campus, right?"
"Yes."
"How's your roommate?"
"Oh. I live in a single."
"Oh." (Scribbles on file)
"Wait, no. I mean, I have friends. I went to the activities fair."
"Mmhmm..."

Veto: The Male Perspective

Many people ask me if it's weird being in a place of no men.
And sometimes I think, "Why yes, it is very strange and takes much getting used to."
And then other times, you are walking across campus and there is a man trying to catch up to his girlfriend, completely out of breath from chasing a squirrel, as he pants, "No, but seriously...I'm gunna catch it next time..."
And then I think, "A little extra estrogen never hurt anyone."

Contiene Jugo 100%

When you live alone, nobody knows when:

1. You eat the whole bag of Blue Chips
2. You double dip straight into the salsa jar
   
3. You drink from the juice bottle
4. Don't open the blinds for four days
5. You eat all the chocolate pudding and leave the vanilla
   

If you look ridiculous, you're probably doing it right.

Someday, when you wake up late, miss a class, don't have time to shower and get to the coffee shop only to find out that they are out of espresso and are only making decaf drinks, you might email me. Then I will take and send to you a film of my water fitness class in the deep end.
Because you will see many college women in one piece swim suits with duck gloves and buoyancy belts flailing in the deep end. You may be concerned that we will drown, but it's okay. Because we have the belts. And then your day will be brighter.

I took out loans for this shit.

If you have seen Zoolander, I would like to reference the scene where Derek throws down the model school because real children could not fit into such a tiny school.
In reading a 14 page article on the aesthetics of art, a direct quote (no, I did not embellish with italics, those were actually there) on scale:

• "A good example of the difference between well proportione and scale is doll clothing. The tiny buttons found on doll clothes are well proportioned to the collar, sleeves, and other details in the clothes. The buttons are a good scale for the doll. However, when the doll clothes are considered in real-sized human terms, the buttons are much too small. The scale is too small for a grown woman to wear" (Kahn, Ph.D. 2004)

This article has been the first time in my week of college where I questioned the legitimacy of this institution.
Some other highlights from this article:

• "When you add white to blue to white, it becomes baby blue, but when you add black instead of white to blue, you get navy blue"
• "Line can be defined in numerous ways. It can be an elongated mark, connecting between points, or the edge of an object."
• And four entire pages on the color wheel which references a black and white diagram of the wheel.

Home. Safe. Barely.

The College Experience is treating me well, thus far.
There isn't much to blog because people are much easier to make fun of when you're sure they'll be around for awhile, and you're sure they're cool with finding themselves publicly mocked on the internet.
We scooted around town today in a friend's car who hails from Montana where speed limits were invented within the last decade. She got the downtown Twin Cities driving experience to say the least. She was merging like a pro and even stopped complaining about traffic and just resorted to blaming it on the city buses by the end of the day, just like all the other Minnesotans.
At least until we both got a little cocky, and overestimated our natural instincts. You really should not base your direction on "gut feelings" and whether or not you maybe recognize a street name. Because you will get lost. Very, very lost.

Community Showers!

Internet here at The College is quite shaky. Conditions will hopefully improve soon- and if that can be the excuse for why I haven't blogged in days, let it be. (Beatles? Again? Wha?)

Oh, right! I'm at The College. Living it up- eating all the pizza (I have not had pizza), soda (Not that, either), and cheesecake (...) I can. I have met many a women here at this place of no men. Except when there are men, everyone sort of looks at each other like "What the hell? Is that a...? Oh god. It's totally a...!! How's my hair?! HOW IS MY HAIR?!"
I'm enyoying my own room, and even met someone who shares my deep appreciation for using the Spanish J sound.
If you want a full report, I suggest picking up the back-to-school edition of The Onion.